SisterLoc'd & Written Down

7 Years and Still No Itch

2010-12-17T17:01:00.000-08:00

This is a long shot view of my pulled back locs. Katie and I liked the pink this day. It has been so long since I posted, I wanted to do something even if it is small to acknowledge 7 years of Sisterlocks!

Blessings~

Where Has The Time Gone

2010-11-14T14:04:00.000-08:00

Where has the time gone
it's slipped between the juggling of things
in and out of situations
never thought of or conceived
by me
Then suddenly one day I look around
and see you there
adrift in air
and wonder to myself

Where has the time flown

Was it lost in occupation or some financial obligation
an argument with who knows who
for who knows what and who knows why
I'm left to sigh
but when I look around and see
you standing almost to the sky
the thought I can not shake
why does my heart ache

Where has the time gone

Remembering the oohhs and ahhs
the lullabyes and captivating eyes
can't help by cry or shed a tear
but it is joy and wonder's splendor rushing
out from places far and near

Oh but dear...

my little one
Where oh where oh where oh where
and when

When did you grow up
and when did I forget to tuck you in
or wipe your tiny chin

Don't look now, Child
before it's much too late
I want to say I love you now as well
not any fairy tale
just a mother's knowing heart that swells
with a healthy understanding time has failed
to keep you small and innocent
beneath the fray and consequence
and yet we learn we all must let
you go on... too soon to be "so long"

but where has the time, the time... gone

Blessings~

Photo Update month 67

2009-07-13T08:11:00.001-07:00

Great Grandma, Mamol, and Mama Wore Wigs

2009-03-21T20:56:00.000-07:00

There are photos of my mother's grandmother in a wig. She was a church-going older woman who eventually surcame to diabetes. I have no idea how long she had worn wigs, I just know she did. I never saw her real hair; and quite frankly, I was too young to even remember how she truly looked when she passed. I just have those snatches of images. You know the frame work of a big woman, a bossy woman, a woman who did not go out in public looking "any old kinda" way. A chestnut brown woman with those big and small moles that arise from aging. A focused on "what she wanted" kinda woman.

I remember a lot of white dresses and missing legs... the smell of liniment and direction-giving. At least I think she was missing legs. My mother's grandmother on her father's side had diabetes, too. I remember for sure that she was missing legs, and that she also wore a wig.

These black women wore wigs, pressed their hair, braided their hair, and hid their hair under wraps. I am sure they also at some time or another, these same women, let their hair down, let it kink up, took sissors to it, or just gave up on it. It struck me today that I wanted to think about what generational time structures kept confined those little ladies in the paradoxical apparatus that was "atop their heads," atop their own natural hair.

My grandmother was born in 1920. Her mother was born in the late 1800's. My mother was born in 1944. Seemingly every 20 years or so, a generation of little black ladies passed on the cultural wearing of wigs to us in Waco. I was born in 1969, but I have never worn a wig unless it was for a play, film, or costume party. The closest I came to the act was braid extentions. Braiding in longer synthetic or natural hair to hid the length of my hair, but not necessaryily the hair itself was my variation on the theme I guess.

My mother wore wigs when we were children. She had three of four of those styrofoam heads with bobby pins and place combs, and netting and all. She was a licensed beautician. The heads sat upon her dresser for many years, coursing in and out of different 70's inspired wig styles. I was more interested in playing outdoors, but I notice them there-, the wigs, partial wigs and other hair pieces.

My mother still throws a wig on or hair piece in, even now that both her daughters have locs. She also still presses and curls. I think it makes her even more hell-bent on her wigs to see our carefree lifestyles. She likes to say, "Babydoll, I like what I have," and if we press her to change, she says, "no, no, no, no, no," and that's that. Why she clings to the wig, hair pieces, and press and curl is beyond me, but cling she must. I am talking specifically about my mother; my intent is not to disparage the wig, press and curl, or any other choice of hair style. Whatever you like, go with it. Please!!!

I believe eventually she will resort to wearing the wig full time when out "in public." Our family has a history of slight hair recession and loss, especially around the forehead and temple. Right now I am beginning to see the recession around my temples. I have a triangular area on both sides of my forehead near the temple where it is just "hair too short to tussle with." I am not ecstatic about it, but I am about to hit my 40's, and these things are a part of aging. So, I can see Mama wearing her wigs more often as she approaches her mid to late 60's and the "in your face" realities of aging.

My grandmother's hair was a soft and silver-white by the time she was in her 60's. She passed away at 67 of alzheimer's with that pretty lengthy hair of hers that was long on the top and at the sides, but noticeable shorter at the back nap and the temple area. Mama's hair is soft like her mother's hair, too. Her hair is also thinning at the temples and "kitchen." However, Mama will dye her hair until the day she dies (Ms. Clairol is recession proof). There will be no gray hair for her at all. And with that reality, I know the thinning hair pattern has been handed down to me.

I wonder if in the future, if I live to be 67 or 87 or older, if there will be a season for me to share in what the women in my immediate past experienced, the wig.

Blessings~

63 Months

2009-03-14T07:44:00.000-07:00

March 13th made five years and three months having these locs. Mary bantu'd them two days ago, and I took them down this morning. She used light setting lotion on wet hair. I did spend twenty minutes under the dryer at one point, too.

The bantu knots were not too tight, but sleeping can be uncomfortable at first even when the knots are not tight. For the most part, they stayed in place. I spent some time re-wrapping or knotting a few along the way.

Because my locs are a bit larger, I don't get the curls I desire from Bantu knots, but the waves are nice. They last a good while. The fullness effect is bold. My locs go from flat to way full whenever I do this. My head seems "ge-normous," but I don't mind because the style is cool for me.

The back never seems to hold the curl or wave too well. I think I may just roll the back next time. I am always a bit disappointed when I spent so much time waiting in bantu knots only to have the back fall right back flat. Fortunately, the length of my hair is longer on the top, so those waves can cascade over the few unwilling locs in the back.

All in all, I am satisfied with the style. Next time I have a long break like this Spring break, I may just keep the bantu knots in for the entire week. After day two, I learned how to sleep with them a little better.

As far as the years of having my locs are concerned, I reflect back on my install, and I remember that my consultant, Imani, had just entered her seventh year with Sisterlocks. Today, she has had her locs for 12 years. They are still stunning, and time will tell where my locs will be in seven years.

Blessings~

Let It Ring

2009-01-25T23:20:00.000-08:00

And those tiny black and pink flecks
littering a tiny desk
finding places on pint sized blue jeans
and upon earth colored carpeted floors
are they signs of starting over
of beginning anew
of dusting one's self off

oft times we forget that the past
comes trailing along
like the distinct smell of childhood
the remembrance of what it felt like to be
wide open and naive to the world
and the self and the other
continuations drawn out like hieroglyphics

and the lights were off because now we know
that the glow is as a horizon of heavy breathing and hope
the shoulders have fallen in relief
though the levee still is breached
and angels wail while others writhe
and love has pulled and tugged the tide
with lunar essence undefined

The gathering throngs of humanness
the swelling pride of hubris
the shackled minds of betrayed faith
and God is full yet of all grace
the turns and twists and storied plight
the bold new day a nation's blight
in one grand glorious vote of might we're staid

From one there are many reaffirmed
from one there are many scorned and burned
as history has a song of joy she sings of pain
let not it go that we no less shall suffer
each and every test, no not one shall be exclude
the strain; it is the people's time
let it ring; from every voice in time let it ring

Full of hope for this next chapter in our history, I am thankful to every voter who chose hope over fear~ Congratulations America! God Bless President Obama!

Being re-engaged in the political process has made me happy.

Five Year Update or 60 months

2008-12-30T09:40:00.000-08:00

Here are some pics from Christmas 2008. My five year date has come and gone.

December 13, 2003. Maryee and I spent Christmas with our adopted brother and sister Tim and Jackie Willis in Dickinson, Tx. It's really League City, but with a Dickinson/Santa Fe zip code. They are wonderful! I created the back flip tie look with my locks in the pics above. With this length, I can go without using any hair tie accessories from time to time. I still love my Brunsli Hair Tie, but desperately need an "upgrade". I've worn the ones we got a while back, out!

Have a very Happy New Year!!!

Blessings~

Endorsements Election USA 08

2008-10-09T06:46:00.000-07:00

I was curious to see the list of endorsements for each candidate. It was striking in numbers, but also telling in names. One thing I noticed was that two (Ind/former R) Senators support one candidate while one (Ind/former D) Senator supports another. These folk sure do circle the wagons.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obama_endorsements

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_John_McCain_presidential_campaign_endorsements

Back in Texas from my 30 day excursion. Had a restful and enjoyable time seeing the country and catching up with friends.

This month is the 58 month since install. Thank you, Imani for setting me straight. You are the best consultant, and I love you much! Get this, the woman has only gone up ten dollars on her services in almost four years. Still loving my Sisterlocks!

Big shout out to MARYEE... Happy 38th birthday! Love you, Sister!!!

Blessings~

Portland Has Water Pressure

2008-09-21T09:57:00.000-07:00

By God had I known this hotel had such great water pressure, I'd have purchased a nice hue and colored my locs last night. Unfortunately, it's on to the hostel. I have to go from 80.00 a night to 22.00 and night. I like this city a lot. It has great energy, one of the best cities so far for me. I enjoyed Moscow, Idaho, too. Brillant place with good folk.

I like the fact that everywhere I have seen couples holding hands walking down the street. I have enjoyed seeing all the happy visitors and international communities, and I like the friendly people, too. Today's big event was the race for the cure. Tons of people supporting this event all over. Portland has a charming appeal.

Blessings~

Vancouver beautiful and growing

2008-09-14T17:05:00.000-07:00

Blessings~

So Far So Good

2008-09-10T16:54:00.000-07:00

The travel has been great so far. The best part is getting to see friends, but even better is I get to see my Consultant again at the end of the month.

Blessings~

Heading West

2008-09-05T11:58:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I hit the road heading to the Pacific Northwest. I have never been further than Sacramento. I am excited and hope to visit lots of friends and take lots of pictures over the next 30 days. If anyone knows of poetry venues or nice coffeehouses in Vancouver, Canada, Tacoma, Washington, Moscow, Idaho, and/or Portland, Oregon, please hit me up and let me know.

This is a birthday trip (39 on the 1st of Sept), but the next big trip for the 40th will be St. Lucia.

Blessings~

Historic Colors to Think About for 2008

2008-08-30T13:02:00.000-07:00

Our United States of America has a great history. Here's a little to think about as the tide turns toward a new era.

Over 120 Million American citizens voted in 2004. Over 60 million of the voters chose the sitting President. It is not the candidates themselves who give me pause to fret, it is the voters. Get out and register a friend who may not have registered and do go vote.

Images from Wikipedia.

blessings~

Red, Brown, and Gray all over

2008-07-30T23:31:00.000-07:00

It's in there. Can't wait until the gray is more pronounced. Right now I just want to cut those gray hairs down to the nub.

Loc count: 275 total.

Blessings~

It Gets Better and Better

2008-03-24T18:11:00.000-07:00

Here are some update pictures. 51 months and still growing. The color is naturally two toned... Who knows? I don't try to figure it out.

I still enjoy my Sisterlocks. It has been a trip to say the least. At every stage of growth, I have been "undone" with enthusiasm... except for maybe months 2 and 3 when the slippage was common. At every stage of definitive growth (baby, toddler, teenager, and now young adult), I thought I was "too much for colored television." But it just keeps getting better.

The downside... There are two issues I do not particularly enjoy: the speckles and the dry flaky scalp.

I am kinda stuck with the dry scalp. I have seasonal flaking/dandruff no matter what style or chemical or extensions, etc., I "rock"... But the speckles are annoying as all get out. Trimming helps a bit, but I suffer them because I love my locs (warts and all).

I am enjoying the tubular form of my locs these days. Because I have combined so many, the look has really taken the form I was trying to achieve when I first had my locs installed. This makes me very pleased that I followed my instinct to combine the smaller locs when the timing was right to do so.

Hands down, getting Sisterlocks, combining my locs, and sticking with my locs at every stage are some of the best decisions I have made concerning my hair... (with the exception of when I shaved my hair all off the very first time, lol!) That was a very bold thing I did back in 1995, but shaving my hair to the quick woke me up a little, and I needed that then. Now, I can say with a "big ol' grin"...

Sisterlocks has reinvigorated my attention to and joy in my natural hair. And this is what I need now.

Be Blessed~

The Anatomy of "The Speckle"

2008-03-23T16:24:00.000-07:00

Meikmeika said...I hope I don't sound too off but, what are speckles?

Taken from:
www.hairlosssolution.com/hair_growth_cycles.htm

Stages of the hair cycle

Between starting to grow and falling out years later, each hair passes through three distinct stages. These are so important that they have been given special names: anagen (the growing phase), catagen (the intermediate phase) and telogen (the shedding phase).

We shall look at these three stages in turn.

Anagen (the growing phase)
The anagen phase of a new hair starts at the moment it begins to grow. At that time there is very active growth in the hair bulb. This usually lasts for some years, generally between three and seven, without interruption. Since human hairs grow at a rate of roughly 1 centimeter a month, hairs can grow to a length of a meter or so.

Hair growth varies with the season as a result of a change in the difference between hair follicles in the growing and shedding phases.

Pigment (melanin) is made in the hair bulb throughout this phase of the hair cycle. Less pigment is made in the hair of older people. This is why white hairs start to appear, even though the hair itself may still be growing strongly.

In some older people the hair cycle becomes shorter, the follicles gradually give up producing long, strong hair, and the hairs become thinner and shorter. The result may be a general thinning of the hair, or even a degree of baldness.

Catagen (the intermediate phase)
The anagen phase is followed by a short resting phase. This catagen phase lasts for between two and four weeks in the human scalp. No pigment is made during that time, and the follicle stops producing hair. The base of the follicle moves upwards towards the surface of the skin.

Telogen (the shedding phase)
The telogen phase lasts for three or four months. This is the time at which a new hair begins to grow from the hair follicle. As it grows upwards the old hair will be shed naturally or may be pulled out, which happens easily and painlessly with telogen hairs. These are the hairs that come out when you shampoo or brush your hair.
Shedding is part of the normal process of the replacement of old hair with new. At any one time, around one in ten of the follicles on an individual's head are in the shedding phase.
The new hair emerges from the same opening at the surface of the skin as the old one, and the hair cycle begins again.

Human hair growth cycle

Under normal circumstances hair growth in each hair follicle occurs in a cycle. There are three main phases of the hair growth cycle; anagen, catagen and telogen with anagen further subdivided into proanagen, mesanagen and metanagen. Anagen is the active growth phase when hair fiber is produced. Proanagen marks initiation of growth with RNA and DNA synthesis in a follicle which then quickly progresses through mesanagen to metanagen and maximum follicle length and girth. In this mature state of proliferation and differentiation the hair follicle consists of a total of eight concentric layers and melanogenesis occurs within pigmented hair follicles. Anagen is followed by catagen, a period of controlled regression of the hair follicle. Ultimately the hair follicle enters telogen, when the follicle is in a so-called resting state.

Anagen is the longest phase with up to 90% of follicles on a normal human scalp in this active hair growth state at any given time and correspondingly telogen hair follicles comprise up to 10% on the scalp (Kligman 1988). The average rate of hair fiber growth is around 0.35mm a day but this rate varies depending on the site of the hair follicle and the age and sex of the individual (Pelfini 1969). The length of the anagen growth phase for scalp hair is usually 6-10 years while telogen lasts just 30-90 days and catagen is best estimated at 14-21 days (Van Scott 1957, Orfanos 1990). In most young mammals the anagen growth phase occurs in a wave like pattern across the skin surface. But the hair follicles of humans and guinea pigs can run through the normal cycles of growth entirely independently of neighboring follicles.

Normally this cycle of hair production and inactivity will continue for the duration of the individual's life but other factors can influence and inhibit hair production and in some cases lead to physical destruction of the hair follicle. Factors may include adverse reactions to drugs and cosmetics, or as a result of scarring, tumors, radiation, the genetics of the individual, hormones and/or their immune system.

SECTION 2
2.4 General Physiology of Hair—An Overview
Robert Baratz, M.D., Ph.D., D.D.S.

To provide a foundation for subsequent discussions, Dr. Baratz described the general characteristics of hair and the underlying skin (e.g., structure, composition, growth patterns, growth cycles). Understanding the characteristics of hair, the temporal and spatial patterns of hair growth, and the factors that affect hair growth, for example, is important when collecting and interpreting hair analysis data. Dr. Baratz's presentation is summarized below.

•	Anatomy of hair. Hair is encompassed in the follicle located below the skin surface in the dermis, the fiber-rich layer that makes up the bulk of the skin. The follicle has a connective tissue component (muscles) and glandular component (sebaceous glands). The muscles elevate the hair and the glands lubricate the hair. The primary components of the hair follicle are the dermal papilla and the follicle cells. The dermal papilla is the "generative zone" of hair (it contains blood vessels, nerves, and pigment-forming cells). The follicle cells generate the hair shaft; the hair shaft is composed of essentially dead cells, which are the outermost layers of the epithelium and form a solid cylinder in the dermis. Mitotic activity at the base of the hair follicle generates different layers that will "keratinize" (see below).
•	Keratinization of hair. Hair is composed of hard keratin (a family of proteins ranging in size from 20,000 to 70,000 Daltons) and is chemically denser than other forms of keratin (e.g., calluses, dander flakes). Keratinized cells contain more than 85% protein. Where the hair shaft separates from the follicle it undergoes "disjunctive" keratizination, which involves the splitting of layers and exposing surfaces not previously exposed. Keratinized cells have a very distinctive appearance, and have tiny pores littering their surfaces. The cells are flattened and tightly bound to their neighbors in a very complex array. When they begin to split apart (by an unknown process), large "nooks and crannies" are formed. These types of anatomical features allow external environmental agents to be easily trapped in the outer surface of the hair.
•	Elements found in hair. Because so many elements are ubiquitous in the environment and therefore found in the human body, merely finding a particular element in the hair does not prove that it got there via a specific route/source, or that finding it has clinical significance.
•	Growth rates. Hair growth varies depending on body region. For example, average eyelash/brow growth rates have been reported at 0.16 millimeters (mm) per day, scalp hair at 0.34 to 0.36 mm/day, and beard hair at 0.38 mm/day. Growth rates also are affected by age, gender, hair color, and ethnicity. For example, scalp hair in a prepubescent, adolescent, adult, and older adult have been reported at 0.41, 0.30, 0.34, and 0.32 mm/day, respectively (Myers and Hamilton 1951). Interindividual variability also occurs. Scalp hair grows at an average rate of 1 centimeter (cm) per month, but can range from 0.6 to 3.36 cm/month (Harkey 1993). Thus, 12 cm can represent 3½ to 20 months of hair growth.
•	Growth cycles. Hair grows in phases (see Figure 2-2). Usually, more than 90% of the hair is in the growing (or anagen) phase. The length of anagen varies from 2 to 6 years. The longer the hair, generally the longer the phases. For example, long hair tends to grow more slowly. Through apoptosis, the hair will begin to enter the relatively short catagen phase, during which the follicle will begin to regress and move toward the surface (the papilli will essentially disappear). During the next phase, telogen, the hair will actually fall out. If the cycle is complete, a resting phase will follow and then the follicle will resume the anagen phase. However, hair can "exit" the cycle and cease being a terminal hair. For example, it can become a vellus hair (non-pigmented "peach-fuzz" hair) or the hair follicle may permanently disappear, as is the case with male-pattern baldness. Events known to affect the hair follicle and its cycle include local signaling events (e.g., cytokines, hormones, adhesion molecules). However, no firm theory of cycle control exists. Hypotheses include the presence of (1) a morphogenesis clock, (2) a cycling inducer, (3) a desynchronizer, and (4) an actual cycle clock, but none of these are specifically known.
•	Generation, cycling, and "patterning" of hair. The hair growth cycle changes throughout life and varies based on species and body location. Patterning of hair is important to the generation and cycling of hair, and to how it relates to its neighbors (e.g., signaling goes on in various regions to space follicles in even arrays). Because of similarities in hair growth patterns, studying sheep hair growth has been useful in understanding human hair growth patterns. Rodent hair growth models, on the other hand, may not be applicable to humans because rodents have regional variation in hair growth; the hair cycles, but in waves across the body.

•

Substances affecting hair growth. A great number of substances can affect hair growth. For example, some drugs, such as alkalating agents, are cytotoxic and can make hair fall out (e.g., cancer chemotherapeutic agents). Other agents drive hair into telogen (e.g., heparin, Vitamin A, ß-blockers, L-dopa, lithium, and some of the non-steroidals). Drugs that inhibit hair growth include parathyroid hormone (PTH) and PTH-related proteins. Variable agents also exist, such as Vitamin D. At low concentrations, Vitamin D may simulate hair growth, but at high concentrations hair growth is inhibited.

Substances such as testosterone, danazol, adrenocorticotropin hormone, metyrapone, anabolic steroids, glucocorticoids, retinoids, and insulin can lead to hirsutism (growth of hair where it does not normally occur). Cyclosporin, minoxidil, diazoxide, and chromakalin increase the growth rate and size of hair (hypertrichosis). However, some regional variation may occur. For example, steroids will decrease the rate of growth of eyebrows, lashes, and hair on the extremities, but estrogen and testosterone will generally stimulate the growth of pubic and axillary hair.

Other factors can potentiate or inhibit hair growth by affecting the growth of the dermal papillae, hair, and follicle (see Table 2-1). (http://www.atsdr.cdc.gov/HAC/hair_analysis/)

Maybe more than you ever wanted to know... but for the person who really wants to know more then the general surface information, this is an adequate read.

Be Blessed~

Great PSA's (added post 8/19/08)

2008-03-20T16:01:00.000-07:00

Blessings~

Tagged 2008

2008-02-20T13:26:00.000-08:00

I have been tagged by n'Drea. Here we go~

Tag Rules

1. Link to the person that tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Responses

1) I love children's laughter

2) I very much enjoy chewing on the soft kind of ice (not the hard frozen kind)

3) Hummingbirds in Spring gathering nectar sooth me

4) Quarreling Squirrels in a park make me say, "Hey, cut that out..."

5) I have to whistle from time to time

6) For me... Big 10 cent words are fun to use when correcting teens and adults who just don't always seem to "get it" with small kind words.

I am tagging: NaturalistOne, Sunsail, Moosiko, Djt, Drea, and Cee

Blessings~

Paint My World Discovered poem

2008-01-11T16:56:00.000-08:00

Paint my world in lovely colors
bursting boldly beyond borders
spilling over calm and rage
dripping slowly off the page

Paint my world in giant letters
giant figures, giant grounds
Paint my world so as I look
about it I can hear the sounds

Paint it brillant
Paint it stunning
Paint it sudden
Paint it cunning

Let the work both prowl and prey
let the work discover me
let the work be effortless
let the work be fully met

Let every color, let it free
Pour the grace that's given me
Fill the cracks and fill the pores
beget the painting open doors

Free the captive mind run dry
be that thing that catches cries
let the tears stream from the eyes
and mix in with the painting's rise

Paint my world discovery
paint my world so I may see
Dash the brush about the air
Let not the stroke remain impaired

Paint the world and paint the heavenlies
Fingers, hearts, and minds in revelry
Little laughters spring up suddenly
happy faces roundly clammering

Paint my world I ask, I pray
paint my world entirely
from this life I'll pass away
but make sure that Your colors stay

Paint my world discovered

blessings~

Bantu Knots Experiment

2008-01-03T11:12:00.000-08:00

December 31st, Maryee fashioned a number of bantu knots in my head. She just twisted three locs together at a time and then bantu'd them. I kept them in about ten hours. They hurt my head too much to leave in any longer. She really did a monster grip job of placing them firmly into position.

By the way, she used a mixture of Jamaican Mango & Lime (Lock & Set Styling Lotion) and Lotta Body after I initially wet my hair. She could have used more, but she had somewhere to go; hence, she hurried to get through.

I sat under the dryer for about 30 minutes, but my hair was not dry. I just kept them in as long as I could stand it. As a result I have had waves for almost four days and counting. It is nice to have this big head full of waves to start off the new year. It seems the waves are not going to fall unless I wet them down. Pretty good staying time, I think.

Thanks Maryee!

Maryee also just purchased Soft Spikes, so this should prove to be a year full of exciting big hair, locs, curls, and waves... I am very excited about the soft spikes.

I am so tender-headed it is not even funny. That is one of the main reasons I avoid styling my locs... the pain... the pain... Another reason... this town doesn't motivate me to reach that high and my ever popular reason... "just choosing not to."

The last pics are from last night. The waves are still going strong.

Blessings and have a wonder-filled, peace-filled, and awesome new year~

48 months Later 4 Year Anniversary

2007-12-16T20:40:00.000-08:00

I've have spent four years in a relationship with Sisterlocks. I have not regretted one day. Since my sister Maryee came home with her new locs, resulting in my mouth flying open in awe, I was instantly "moved" to join the Sisterlock revolution. I abandoned the traditional approach I had utilized. I had worn locks that I cultivated and maintained myself, but I have to say that the Sisterlock method changed my entire perspective on locking, dreadlocks, and natural hair.

I am grateful that Dr. Cornwell created a business and a lifestyle "adjuster" that both transformed/(s) lives and affected/(s) so much positive change for the greater good.

Dr. Cornwell states, " You will see that Sisterlocks is much more than a hair care system. It's more like a movement, and it is really powerful! We welcome everyone who has positive energy to share, to join in this movement! ENJOY!"

As a former locked head, it was not the fact that Sisterlocks was just any other way to lock your hair, it was the entire notion of creating a method where uniformity and integrity were placed in the forefront by way of how one approached the process of cultivating/sowing the locks, relationship and information was mandated up front, and thoughtfulness, respect for decision-making, accountability, and personal responsibility were not afterthoughts.

My consultant wanted to be clear that I understood what I was getting into, and that the process I would be going through was established on sound business principles and a sound business philosophy. She wanted me to be sure that I was ready to make a commitment both financially and aesthetically, a long term commitment. I am sure she dreaded(s) seeing a first time client, but she courageously braved(s) the storm of questions about "short-cuts", "whys nots", and "how comes" with dignity and grace.

Did I want it to be easier, quicker, more economical/inexpensive? Sure. But because I ultimately submitted to the procedure, I am all the better for it. I humbled myself and submitted. I saved the money necessary to go through the process. I waited the period of time I was asked to so as to be on the other side both grateful and having tremendous respect for my consultant and the Sisterlock method and family. So after four years, I remain ever so happy I made this choice. I have no regrets.

Understanding and realizing there are other approaches and methods men and women are choosing everyday to manage their hair, I am in no way suggesting that other methods have no merit. I am simply celebrating my four year anniversary by saying "thank you" little seedling for growing into the grand fruit producer that you are.

I love my Sisterlocks.

Blessings~

Fisherman Lyrics

2007-12-04T12:10:00.001-08:00

My Uncle Norah is in his 70s. He has been a fisherman all his life. Maryee and I recently visited him and he spoke of cooking turtle stew. Maryee and I must get by his house soon to try that stew one day. He cooks it for others from time to time, but he can't have it anymore. I have never tried Turtle stew.

This week I taught P.E. in North Waco and stopped in to Melvin's Convenient Store. Melvin's sells lots in stuff including fishing bait. My dad would stop by Melvin's to get bait when he would take us fishing down at the lake when we were children. Well, while stopping in to get a 50 cent cup of coffee I notice a picture or "three" of an 8th grade student I teach from time to time with this 25 pound turtle. This 12 to 14 year old with his big catches posted on the wall reminded me of my uncle and fishing and all the joy it brings.

Fishing Song

He’s done turned another corner
In his old brown station wagon
Everything he’s carrying and everything he’s dragging
Been round the block a time or two
And one thing he ain’t having
Is anybody trying to get a hankering to
Tell him he got’s to stop his bragging

He’s got his fishing tackle
His bottles of beer
And his tuna in a can
Got his bank poles
His rod and reels
And his itching money hand
Got his live bait
And his stink too
And his dispositions grand
He even got atop his head that double A blowing fan

He’s got a big old turtle he done caught
And those bobbing things you use
Got his travel bag
His medicine kit
And his old gray fishing shoes
Got some extra line and a heavy rope too
And his pimento cheese
By God this man might make a pretty good fisherman out of me

He’s done turned another corner
In his old brown station wagon
Everything he’s carrying and everything he’s dragging
Been round the block a time or two
And one thing he ain’t having
Is anybody trying to get a hankering to
Tell him he got’s to stop his bragging

He’s got his ice chest
His 10 foot boat
And his weights and anchors laid
Got his lawn chair
and his favorite cares
All sitting out the way
Got his frilly hooks
and his makeshift lures
And his ways of doing thangs
Got his place to park and his place to dock and there’s no sign of rain

He got his cheese and summer sausage
His sardines in a can
Got his cup of coffee
His return route
And the day is straight ahead
It's five AM
And it’s me and him
And my eye’s just cleared of red
He gives a grin and looks at me
And this is what he said

Got that great big turtle I done caught
And a little one right behind it
Got just about everything we’ll need
If I don’t we just revise it
But you looky here my darling dear
And I hope you don’t disagree
It’s been that station wagon
That fishing gear
And a life of you and me

Now nothings more important
Than us towing this here line
By God I think that now’s the time to tell you you’ve done fine
So if we don’t catch a dog gone thing
In this here river creek
Just know I love you
You’ve been the best catch this whole half century

He’s done turned another corner
In his old brown station wagon
Everything he’s carrying and everything he’s dragging
Been round the block a time or two
And one thing he ain’t having
Is anybody trying to get a hankering to
Tell him he got’s to stop his bragging

He’s got a big old turtle he done caught
And those bobbing things you use
Got his travel bag
His medicine kit
And his ole' gray fishing shoes
Got some extra line and a heavy rope too
And his pimento cheese
By God this man might make a pretty good fisherman out of me

Blessings~

2am December 2, 2007

Rare Short Poem

2007-11-30T15:01:00.000-08:00

Dare not ask the cactus to be without its needles
nor the nectar without its sweetness
understand to each a complex life is given
and to each a complex life of living~

blessings this holiday season~

edited*

So Many New Loc'd People

2007-11-29T14:21:00.000-08:00

Please visit the Locked Blog Hair Exchange if you have a chance. There are so many new bloggers and fotki members to find out about. It is truly a blessings to have met and learned about all these loc'd folk. Keep sharing!

Happy Holidays~

Bit of Loc Chat

2007-11-20T06:33:00.000-08:00

Natch commented:

I am new to So Cal, I have Sisterlocks but I like what you said about how yours are larger and that you've combined some. Could I hear more about your locks, their maintenance and your consultant?

Sadly, I do not live in Southern California anymore. Since 2005, my sister and I have been in our hometown of Waco, Texas (yee-haw). Imani Nash-Bey installed our Sisterlocks in November (Maryee) and December (me) of 2003. Since the installation, my locs have matured well. Imani's new shop is called HairStory. Check out her myspace for cool updates.

There was a rough patch between 2005 and 2006 when my locs experienced the withdraws of not having Imani care for them. They just loved Imani. The closest consultant to Waco was located in the DFW area, and we were very under employed. Whereas Imani's fee was a flat rate of 60 USD to retighten, the DFW's consultant's fee was 45 USD per hour. Needless to say, maintenance on a regular basis suffered.

Early on in Waco, Maryee took a trip to Euless (DFW) to take the retightening class. She helped me a bit to maintain my locs. During the rough time, however, I would two strand twist to try to maintain form. I experienced some breakage at the crown and decided to sew in (graft) hair to prevent the breakage and to encourage growth. This worked well for me. Since my hair line has the tendency to sprout new hair and the locs at the crown of my head tend to recede, I just wait for enough new hair to appear, crate a baby loc and then sew in a loc I previously had combined.

Also, my hair is very strange. I have a few areas on the top of my head where tufts of hair appear out of nowhere it seems. I try to pull this random hair into an existing loc, but the hair always manages to slip right out after one wash. I have recently decided to just start a loc and sew a loc into this tuft of hair. It is the only thing that seems to work because this hair is "indy-loc/combine-loc" resistant.

I started off with around 500 locs, now I am under 300. I'd say I have between 270 and 280 because of adding and subtracting/combining and sewing in. I have a few locs that are smaller yet healthy and a few that are larger yet healthy. I am trying to beef up the smaller ones a bit when I find an opportunity to combine them. Certainly for me, a few factors must fall into place before I make the leap to merge. Loc proximity to the other, girth of loc, and my mood. See December 2005 post on sewing in locs.

At times there are concerns of weightiness for me and strength of root bed, but that is just a part of the struggle to maintain faith. I purpose myself to choose not to worry and that makes a big difference in my choices with my locs. I am sure that whatever we (my locs and me) have to face, we will be fine. If you look at my sister Maryee's locs and my locs, you can see the difference in width/diameter. She wanted the flexibility to roll and set or style, and I wanted the bolder, freer, and funkier look... That is one reason why I had them installed a bit larger and why I combined my locs,- the other... mistakes in re-tightening and living with the error.

Regarding shampoo, moisture treatment, dry scalp, or grooming...

I shampoo about twice a month (Sisterlock shampoo). Because of the slippage, I can not shampoo more frequently. Because I love to shampoo my hair often, but I choose not to, I am bummed about this slippage issue. If I have an opportunity to have a consultant again, I will sho'nuf shampoo more. I would hope the consultant would know best how to keep that little hair in its place.

I moisture treat and spray moisture treat more during dry scalp seasons (Sisterlock Moisture Treatment and Spray Moisture Treatment). The change in the weather creates a change in my internal make up, hence manifesting in dry skin, scalp, and flux in my cuticles. This is usually at the onset of Autumn and Spring... Ahh my favorite seasons, but itchy...

I generally groom my hair with sharp cuticle scissors about four times a year. I also suffer from the cuticle specks many other loc'd folk have. They are a pain, but such as life. I try to cut them out, but I more than likely need to be more careful not to pull at my roots too aggressively when re-tightening my locs. They tend to be isolated at the front of the head. There are no noticeable cuticles at the back of my head. And to add... I prefer the Sisterlock clip tool over the hook tool, and I purchased and tried the Nappy tool, but have no desire to use it at all.

Next year will be quite interesting. The locs will be heading into a new stage of growth and uniqueness. I am looking forward to it. I love my Sisterlocks. I hope you love yours as well.

Click here for earlier post my journey...

Be blessed~

Coming Up On Forty-Eight Months

2007-10-28T15:20:00.000-07:00

Some comparison shots from June 2006

February 2007

Two bottom ones are October 2007

Blessings~

Reconcile Poem of Sorts

2007-10-24T16:38:00.000-07:00

The people are all gathered on their way displaced
war
torn
dirty faced
A soldier puts a shaky hand to face
tired
worn
nation state
A child is jumping round in awkward place
no
shoes
born poor
A neighbor takes his neighbor's fragile case
group
rule
two chords
A nation fights inflation as it beats
them
down
current see
A clock has stopped it's ticking
not a
sound
won't cease
The paint appears on faceless painted faces
sad
clown
feigns joy
I frequently bemoan my time and places
privileged
child
too spoiled
The churches are all filled with different issues
hope
hurt
some search
And on the island people stop to witness
big
waves
Each year
And in the mountains people burrow inward
now
cold
Each year
And in the desert people search for water
thirsty
dry
Each year
And on the oceans mariners do ride
rough
seas
Each year
Circumstances calling to the distant
help
us
Echoes back an answer in a whisper
Endure
All that's left is our responses to the answer
actions deeds dictated by splintered disaster
we all will wait and wait upon a master
and who we serve will give our final answer

blessings~

I guess I wrote this piece in part because I am struggling with discontentment and making requests... Contentment and Godliness equals great gain does not necessarily help me when I want to come boldly to His throne of Grace to ask "anything". Priorities being as mixed up as they are and knowing that God gives seed to the sower, I am somehow terribly conflicted on many levels. I am sure if I dissected this free verse poem, I'd spin several themes out of it that may lead to justifications or reconciliation.

Peace~

Later that evening... the truth is Devotion on one level or another... I need it~

Earth Wind and Fire

Thru devotion, blessed are the children
Praise the teacher, that brings true love to many
your devotion, opens all life's treasures
and deliverance, from the fruits of evil.
So our mission, to bring a melody,
ringin' voices sing sweet harmony

For you here's a song, to make your day brighter.
One that will last, you long thru troubled days.
Giving your heart the light to brighten.
All of the dark that falls in your way
You need devotion. bless the children
deliverance from the fruits of evil

In everyone's life, there's a need to be happy.
Let the sun shine, a smile your way.
Open your heart, feel a touch of devotion.
Maybe this song, will help uplift your day.

Make a better way
You need devotion

Bless the Children
Deliver from the fruits of evil
You need devotion
Bless the Children
~~~

A Few Pics from the Ft. Worth DFW Gathering

2007-08-21T04:43:00.001-07:00

Blessings~

Hair in my Food

2007-08-03T07:21:00.000-07:00

One interesting result of having lengthier locs is forgetting about pulling one's hair back out of one's face before attempting to eat one's meal. It is not such the issue that I am going to opt for shorter locs. But as my locs have matured and grown, I find it interesting how they require me to make a few adjustments here and there with day to day activities.

I do not mind the adjustments. I figure... since I am single and without children... I have to appreciate my locs for keeping me on my toes just by being what they are naturally.

blessings~

Nina Simone

2007-07-24T16:52:00.000-07:00

Just woke me up a bit today...

Blessings~

Music Front Update

2007-07-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

***July 11th update*** The show went better than I expected on some levels and less than better on others, but I had a good time, and Jason was well pleased. We will play again on the 17th of August, so we have a month to get a bit more polished. Thanks for your support and encouragement!***

My sister is in Mexico, and I have the computer all to myself. So, I have to post this update regarding a show. Jason Millerd and I have been playing together for I guess it's getting to be almost 2 years off and on. We are finally going to do an extended set at the coffeehouse his parents own Beatnix. It is a pretty safe and receptive place for poetry and music beginners. The audiences are always very kind, so I am excited about this opportunity.

We have had a few four hour rehearsals. My fingers and voice are spent. I don't think I could do this for a living, but it is fun to go through this particular fire, nonetheless. I think back on some of my posts about writing and this music thing, and I see tons of growth and persistence. I dare say I am proud of the efforts that have been made. I literally have had no real income, job security, nor do I have training in the craft of song writing, but it is His Grace and His Mercy that is sustaining me. I give thanks and praises to the Most High God for all He has allowed me to experience and all His many gifts and blessings.

God is good!

Loc Tag

2007-07-03T14:55:00.000-07:00

Tagged by Cee... Here are the rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to then report this on their own blog with their 7 things as well as these rules. They then need to tag 7 others and list their names on their blog. They are also asked to leave a comment for each of the tagged, letting them know they have been tagged and to read the blog.

1. I have gotten away with "socks and sandles" wearing recently.

2. I like to play my guitar in bed which produces very bad playing posture.

3. Whenever I drive, I like to look at the scenery.

4. My favorite vocalist is Chaka Khan.

5. Favorite Color is Hunter Green.

6. I brush my teeth right handed (sometimes I'll try to do it left handed just for kicks).

7. If the grass gets too high (four to five inches), I have to get to mowing...

two to three times a week with all the rain in Central Texas. It's my new diet.

Be blessed~

Tagging: maryee, Ree-C, lyriq, DewDrop, blackluvdmom, Drea, Cee and Nappy Texan Girl's Sisterlocks

Day One Collage

2007-06-26T05:46:00.000-07:00

This is a most recent picture contrasted with a collage of my December 13, 2003 installation pictures. I am heading into month 43 or 3 years 7 months.

Blessings~

I Am The Poet and the Poem

2007-05-25T06:29:00.000-07:00

I am the poet and the poem
I am the coolness and the warm
I am the gentle and the harm
I am the silence and alarm

I am the tiny grain of sand
I am the rain upon the land
I am the color of the wind
I am the clouds as they begin

I am the canyon and the echo
both the stardust and the star glow
I'm the diamond and the hard coal
both the bright yes and the dark no

I am the seeker and the finder
both the clear way and the blinder
I am the with and the without
Both an open and closed mouth

I am the quiet and the storm
I am the found and the forlorn
I am the sower and the reap
I am the laughter and the weep

I am the shoe upon the floor
the in and outside of the door
the now and future evermore
I am the sea and that sea's shore

I am the center of all things
and the outer distant rings
Every tear and every dream
the playful child of make-believe

While yet I'm sleeping and awake
it is both life and death I take
It is my heart that's bound to break
And when it mends, more love will make

blessings~ copyright 2007
MJS Productions

Music Update Thank You Jason and TJ

2007-05-20T14:41:00.000-07:00

This is Blues Jam, recorded by maryee last night at the coffeehouse... Thank you sister. I came up with this chord progression in 2003 just messing around. This song has no lyrics yet, but I am certain all things work together for the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to His good purposes.

Be blessed~

Finally Took The Retightening Class

2007-04-13T07:26:00.000-07:00

My friend Felicia and I have completed the retightening class administered by GiGi Johnson. We both were pleased with the class and are looking forward to getting more proficient as time goes by. I struggled with the hook tool and was so frustrated I was pouting and whining out loud. Felicia and GiGi just couldn't help but laugh while trying to be empathetic. I don't have pictures from the class, but this is a pretty recent picture.

Blessings~

Strengthening The Roots

2007-03-28T06:30:00.000-07:00

Sisters, Mothers and Daughters, Sisters... We strengthened our roots once again. Here are a few pictures from Dr. Cornwell's visit to DFW.

Be blessed~

39 Month Sisterlock Update

2007-03-13T18:00:00.000-07:00

Feeling kinda artsy these days...

Blessings~

To the Grand Hand

2007-03-11T12:04:00.000-07:00

Give a Hand

Hands seem an after thought
put to many tasks
unasked
but tried and true
they are most dutiful
dare say the most intuitive
most excellent
intelligent
accomplished

the works of our hands demand
that we place them together in prayer
and give thanks
we place them together in applause
and give thanks
we open them to the universe
and give thanks

***
my locs thank you~

blessings~

10 Things I will Share

2007-03-03T14:15:00.000-08:00

5 things you may not know about me that I am willing to share...

Little Jen's top five...
1. Loved Pippi Longstocking

2. Riding bikes-popping wheelies/riding a wheelie 20 to 30 yards

3. Playing Jacks and Red Light Green Light

4. Playing street football with the neighborhood boys until darkness fell

5. Bed wetter until age 18
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Older Jen top five...
1. Went to a predominately black college and then a predominately all white graduate school... that was quite an interesting mix... Huston-Tillotson College (now H-T University)... University of Iowa...
2. Working hard to try and value others... not just acknowledge or respond in a polite expected way, but value on a deeper level what others have to share... what others choose to choose... what others choose to say... whether I agree or like it. (like Gullum in the The Lord of the Rings... we all have a purpose)
3. Love working extemporaneously, creatively, and as well purposefully with others... Especially in film, video, stage, or music... It has been hit and miss, but now that I have embraced the artist in me, I am so looking forward to the next opportunities...
4. Self published my own books of poetry... compiled five of them including a college anthology. Maryee and I are working on more books of poetry...TBA
5. Absolutely love and appreciate Lauryn Hill's Unplugged CD... What a ministry it was and is for me...

bonus: Love chicken and my sister maryee very much

blessings~

Let's hear from you whether you have been tagged or not~~~ detra, CoCo Butterfly, Drea... jazzilocssssssss~~~~

DFW Special Gathering March 24th

2007-03-01T16:35:00.000-08:00

For more information, click on... www.blaqkofi.blogspot.com.

Working as Receptionist Today... Lyrics Present Themselves

2007-02-28T07:27:00.001-08:00

Your Parents and You
by Robert S. McGee is a book I will read excerpts from over and over again. It is helpful for me because I am able to put some pieces back together and work to resolve the tragic realities of life. The book is comforting and gives me some peace about family dynamics. On the path to healing, I am still expressing the tragic, but wanting to get beyond tragedy to the goodness part, expeditiously.

I envision producing a stage play or film musical on day...

Isn’t it tragic when mamas wreck havoc
And daddy(s) make habits
And uncles pretend that
They love you
And isn’t it strange when a stranger seems
Plain and their gestures are games that remind you
there’s no one who wants you
And of course all the while
You are wearing that smile
And the days seem worthwhile
While you’re
Cordially saying I don't want to…
And the days pass you by without nary a how do you do

Isn't it queer when you cautiously peer
into eyes that are near
and you find them to be
quite amusing
And isn't it off when you get what you thought
was a man and find him to be bruising
and lost and confusing

and though you're a wreck
and you've lost all your bets
and you're not at your best
while you're cordially saying I've got to
and your life passed you by without nary a why as you sigh

But when finally asked to dance
Will you stubbornly pass up the chance
Or turn to face the dance floor
Or close yet another blessed door

Isn’t it tragic when mamas wreck havoc
And daddy(s) make habits
And uncles pretend that
They love you
And isn’t it strange when a stranger seems
Plain and their gestures are games that remind you
there’s no one who wants you
And of course all the while
You are wearing that smile
And the days seem worthwhile
While you’re
Cordially saying I want to…
And the days pass you by without nary a how do you do, too

blessings~

Compared to June 2006

2007-02-25T17:36:00.000-08:00

Here are comparison shots of my locs: June 2006 and February 2007... That's 8 months!

Photos taken with Maryee's Casio Elixim Z-700. May not look like a big difference, but believe me it is... Heavy!

Blessings~

My sister encouraged me to put these in a slideshow, too.

A Waco Thanks to DFW ladies

2007-02-19T07:24:00.000-08:00

GoodtimesGoodtimesGoodtimesGoodtimesGoodtimesGoodtimesGoodtimesGoodtimesGoodtimesGoodtimesGoodtimesGoodtimes

I would like to thank everyone who attended the February 18th DFW Sisterlock Gathering in Waco. I would also like to thank those who had a heart to attend, but due to circumstances, were unable. Blessings to you! I had a wonderful time at Beatnix learning more about each one of you. It was a blessings to host this event, and I so look forward to the next gathering in March. Maryee and I both were pleased as punch to host this event. I would like to especially thank my sister... she is the bomb at planning events. That's my sissy~

As always, you ladies are

a welcomed manifestation of God's glorious spirit...
a cool breeze that for a moment
takes me to that place of peace
called "sisterhood unrehearsed"
verse by verse
in dances of splendor...
delighting in candor
surrendered to a genteel space
of grace... an oft' astounding place
of time set aside
to embrace
each other
in our natural state
and I will always remember
~

blessings~

What I Am Learning... or what's soaking in

2007-02-07T18:14:00.001-08:00

I would like to think that I am learning, and truthfully, I am, but I also realize that some things I learned before are just beginning to soak in. It is as if the ground that was hardened by a Summer's drought finally got a bit of rain, but not near enough to penetrate that hard earth. But then such strong storms came that it was quite impossible to think that the rains were not heavy enough to lay the earth tender. I am at the tendering state... Season of Salting... Thank you Lord!

Grateful

2007-02-07T12:36:00.000-08:00

If I could take every breath that I take
and make it last long enough to begin
to comprehend
why I should always be glad
and be grateful
I might never no ever breath out again
until time passes by waving
thankful
that I surrendered when called
claimed defeat to it all
and the breathing won out after living had stalled
when it's all said and done
I have only begun
to consider why I am so grateful

blessings~

Bring Me Your Sunshine

2007-01-30T12:35:00.000-08:00

Bring me your sunshine
bring me your rain
bring me your hopes
I'll bring you the same

bring me your laughter
bring me your joy
bring me your prayers
bring it on boy

bring me your good days
I know they won't last
but bring me your tears
I'll cry til they've passed

bring me some kindness
we know life's a test
bring me your knowing
that you did your best

you did your best

bring me your goodness
bring me your time
bring me the healtiest love
you can find

bring me a pure heart
bring me some love
bring me a union sealed
by Christ's blood

Bring me your smiles
bring me some balance
bring me a knowing
that life is a challange

bring me the truth
that came between us
bring me a genuine
authentic love

genuine
authentic love

I have known for quite some time
life is a difficult mountain to climb
All my empty expectations of
turning water into wine

In you there is no potential
just a real live man
setting a God-like example
doing all he can
by

bringing me sunshile
bringing me rain
bringing me joy
easing the strain
working real hard
at doing it right
bringing me Jesus
bringing me light
the head of my household
admitting were one
bringing an effort
for God's only son
bringing me faith
bringing me prayers
bringing me things only we two can share
bringing me certainty
bringing me love
bringing me life
rewarded by God
bringing a hope
faithful and true
bringing it all
from the alter of you

Bring me your sunshine
bring me your rain
bring me your hopes
I'll bring you the same

bring me your laughter
bring me your joy
bring me your prayers
bring it on boy

bring me your good days
I know they won't last
but bring me your tears
I'll cry til they've passed

bring me some kindness
we know life's a test
bring me your knowing
that you did your best

you did your best
you did your best

They Say

2007-01-28T12:35:00.000-08:00

I have been playing this music on my guitar for a while, and I have been experimenting with lyrics. This song, They Say, is trying to come about, so I decided to post "would be" lyrics on the fly to see if they are here yet... blessings~

They say, "I don't love myself"
and they say, "I don't see"
and they say, "they are scared to death"
and who knows what else

Now, they say, "I have no control"
they say, "the stars reveal my goals"
and they say, "who is this Lord of Host"
who knows what else they say

but I know
I know
I know
What you say
I know what you say
because while I was yet still in sin
you died for me that day

Now they say, "they'll do this and that"
and they say, "Their word is proof of that"
they say, "impose guilt and I'll get results"
but they don't know what they ask

And they say, "God takes care of me"
they say, "That book I needn't read"
and they say, "I need to loosen up"
and they say, "that's enough"

but I know
I know
I know
What you say

cause you came into my life
and gave to me your light
you died upon that cross
so that I would know the cost
I fell upon my knees that day
and praised your name in every way
I shut my mouth and heard from you
your love you gave to me it's true

and now I know I don't need to listen to
a thing
that they.......
say

a thing
that they.......
say

when they say...
but I know
I know
I know
What you say
yes I know
I know what you say
what you say

Don't Know

2007-01-09T12:34:00.000-08:00

It’s true… didn’t you know
I don’t know you
It is so true… you have discovered
I don’t know you
If I knew you
I might have a chance to treat you just like you would want to be treated
But it is true
I do not know you
And since I do not know you
How in the world can I judge you
I don’t know you
We agree
Don’t we
Don’t we
both agree on that
I do not know you and that is that
Let us walk away
Fast in opposite directions
Because while you are sure that I do not know you
I am as sure as rain that
You don’t know me, too
Cause if you did
You might have a chance to treat me just like I’d want to be treated
But ah ha…
Who can know anyone well enough to pass that extraordinarily decisive test
So the best that I can do is decide that it’s best to move away from you
To define my own destiny and fly away, fly away, fly away

Fruit Be Manifest

2007-01-08T12:33:00.000-08:00

In my mind the world is beautiful
through my eyes I know
there can only be the possibilities I create
the vision's wonderful
Carved out meadows
blossoms of gossamer's wings
every lovely thing
fine as rainbows, waters rippling
cool and satisfying
there is no denying
I am often trying
overwhelmed at best
recognizing stress
putting it to rest
it is God's purpose
that I overcome
and that joy is one
of the fruit I bare
and I know He cares
to see to it that
my faithfulness
grows in abundance
and His peace is mine
While the love's divine
working at goodness
gentle with the rest
as best as I can do
without being fooled
into people pleasing
but it's God's new season
discernment will help
with my judgment
kindness is an art refine this
patience and self-control
remind us
that it ain't easy
but we must trust
that His word is true
and He's working a new thing out in me and you
if we let Him
He will renew
in us a right Spirit
Get it
got it
See the one cent
even it says
in God we trust
it's a must
is it my imagination as this puffed up dust
He breathed life into us
breathed life into us

Looking toward the future

2007-01-08T08:28:00.000-08:00

It is so difficult for me right now to focus. God has me taking some major tests, and I am praying rapidly every time I need to take a thought hostage. The enemy would want for me to turn back, but I am not turning back. What is back there is a life of coping with the sharp stabs and sword play that leads to the art of war, deliberating on nonsense, fretting over other people's mess. I am more interested in the art of love, the discipline, the commitment, the struggle and the joy... Truth love not "real love" or "true love" in the R&B sense or any of that fluff stuff that dilutes the truth about love and life and why exactly Christ had to die. There is evil in this world people. Get over it if you think you can get by without being discerning about spiritual warfare, and if you think you do not have to constantly wash your robes daily, stop kidding yourself.

Pray without ceasing I think is the lesson God is trying to teach me. So pray everybody with me.
He wants to love you more than you'll ever know. Thank you, Lord God!

Testify and Confess Faith

2007-01-02T12:32:00.000-08:00

Testify and Confess My Faith

I am a melancholy spirit

I know this and as a matter of fact

a bit choleric to add to it

so yes

If you've ever heard of the temperments

then you might have a hope of feeling me on this

I have days when I create the messes

and I have days when the messes create me

but I am accountable see

I can accept responsibility

A coward... I ain't trying to dodge my enemies

God's plan for me is always His victory

even when He's pruning me

Best believe He's loving me and helping me

keep the clouds at bay

shelters me from the storms that sway

encouraging me to keep a smile on my face

He says the first will be last and last will be first place

I work at keeping His peace with me, in me, day after day

you know it's His grace... amazing grace

His joy around, His word abound

I've bought into this?... Boy are you bent

sick and twisted... maybe even tormented

Crazy yet...

You can't purchase the Holy Spirit

listen... it's no secret... It's a free gift

shewww.... Tell every body

I have to stay focused on Christ

I like this man, this is nice (Glory)

if not I'd find myself picking up every kind of vice

I have to fight to keep the light of life in my life

ever present ever bright

that's called contending for the faith

and boy... did Paul get it right

confronting the issues is only half my battle

finding solutions in His horn and His mantle

cause problems are going to arise

and we gone have strife and need to strive

to find higher ground while the waters rise

so, let's just stop tripping and put pride aside

it's all about relationships

now who done sunk my battleship?

We are in a spiritual battle and there are those

around us who have been chosen to straddle

and there are those who are recruited to rattle

and there are brothers and sisters holding firm in the saddle of faith

believing on the One whom He sent to make it all straight

my job is to try day by day to obey

submit my body as a living sacrifice in faith

yield to His leading the way

ask for His help every day

Why I got's to argue the point

with you there's no win win it's lose lose up in this joint

I use to fight my own battles and wars

I'd say something stupid and light one square on up, boy

but ahhhh I've been delivered of that

and you ain't the one who's gone drive me right back

to that miserable existence of fret, worry, or doubt

I'd rather eat a bone in the corner of an attic alone

then to have steak with a old angry, bitter, aging woman

with a pasted up smile hiding hate and self-loath

yeah I have got to stay on the side of Christ

because in Him I have found life

I am free to serve Him and I am free to love Him

Cause I accepted that He died for this foolish woman

and He set my feet on solid ground,

and He lifted me up and turned me around

There is no "just God and me"

there is Christ, the Spirit, and the Father it's three

That is my faith a gift that was offered

I didn't choose Him, He chose me when He suffered

a criminals death on the cross for His love

so now I have to walk out His perfect love cause

The world didn't know Emmanuel... The world hated Him

and I know if it hated Him, it's gone hate me

cause you see I read, heard, and believed

faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God

Lord help me to see through all facades

Help me work this earth thing out

I know I'm an alien traveling about

I know this place is not my home

I know I have a ways to roam

but set me on the straight and narrow

discipline me so cause Your eyes on the sparrow

don't let me fall back into those old sins

that weigh me down, help me repent

Teach me to discern and to flee that serpent

I know you ain't done with me not yet

I love you, Lord

I choose just you

I love you Lord

help me stay true

Happy Holidays 2006

2006-12-29T14:55:00.000-08:00

Seasons GreetingsSeasons GreetingsSeasons GreetingsSeasons GreetingsSeasons Greetings

These pics were taken by maryee on a rather windy day in Central Texas. I can only imagine what my life would be like if I truly owned that beautiful horse. She was sweet as apple pie.

My hair was curly because the night before was twist, band, and shampoo night. The curls held for two days. Fun stuff while it lasted and a great way to ring in the new year weekend. Be blessed indeed this new year, ya'll.

Got Drums, Got Ge'tar, Need mics and recording stuff

2006-12-29T10:44:00.000-08:00

You know the interface thingamabobbies that allow you to get sound from one place to the computer with a quality one can live with.

Getting the job done one dollar at a time, ya'll... With God all things are possible... without faith it is impossible to please God...

Here we go into 2007...

Blessings~

Deja Vu asked... plus 3 year update

2006-12-11T14:53:00.000-08:00

...~~~~~~~~~~~~I am having Sisterlocks installed on the 20th and wanted to ask you some questions about your choice in size. I love the way your sisterlocks look in your pictures. I was thinking about getting the largest size myself but I noticed that in your profile, you state that you regret not going with the "standard" sizing. Would you be willing to share what you see as the pros and cons of going with the larger size sisterlocks? I am especially interested in knowing what problems you have had due to
your larger locs and why it is that you regret the size. I am hoping that you are willing to share your experience so that I am able to make a more informed decision (we have the same hairtype btw).

Thank you so very much.

Deja Vu

Hi Deja Vu:

God bless you and welcome to the Sisterlock family (soon enough)!

To answer your question: The Pain... The Pain...

1. I have worn my hair locked for years. I would do them myself starting off with the two strand twist. As a result, I considered myself to have larger locks because of that process. Essentially, what I really had were smaller locks about the size of what traditional Sisterlocks are when mature.

Because the two strand twist required that I twist two sections of hair until they began to mat/lock and then pull them apart after a few weeks, the result was always a smaller lock when pulled apart. But because I would wear my hair twisted when out and about for weeks, and I was always randomly pulling the twists apart and re-twisting them, I grew to regard my locks as larger. That was a self-deceit. But all I did was twist and pull apart... not re-tighten.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~2. After the initial locking by Imani, I was pleased with the thickness because it reminded me of that familiar place. But, as the process began to take hold, I noticed that the thickness for me lended itself to a bit of roughness in hair texture that I was not use to with my natural locks. As well roughness with hair handling which I was not use to. Rarely did anyone touch my head from young adulthood... up until Sisterlocks.

I loved the orderly fashion of Sisterlocks, but didn't like the amount of hair each lock contained because they do/did "fatten" up. Hence, this makes for a painful retightening experience for this tenderheaded child. Also, with my previous twisted locks, I never re-tightened. I didn't know anything about that process until Sisterlocks.

3. The good side is that I only had about 450 locks when the locks were installed. The down side is that I could have easily ended up with well over 500 or close to 600 with the traditional installation. Today, I am down to between 350 and 400 locks because of errors in locking two together or choosing to combine locks. Another up side is that my hair sometimes thins in the middle of the lock, but with the thicker lock, I have more lock for the thinning to get through. A down side... lots of thick hair... lots of heavy thick hair. But that's a plus, too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~4. Another plus, is they are thick and healthy locks. Maryee complains some days about her thin root beds. I have no complaints. My root beds are roomy enough for no complaints to ensue. My biggest issue is with the pain of retightening. Them thick babies get pulled through a tiny space no matter how your root bed spreads. I am tenderheaded and there is no getting around that fact.

I think in my mind I believe that if the locks were smaller, the pain would be smaller. I do not consider this all together a true(ism). But, all in all... I like the look of my sister's locks and have days of envy. Her hair is more uniformed in width and length. Mine persists in growing in layers. I deal and have dealt with bunching. She never had that problem or has that problem. Big locks lay in my face, tiny ones in hers... etc...

Keep in mind that all my locks are not across the board "large". There're small locks, medium locks and super fat locks up in this head. I doubt if anyone is going to have the perfect set of uniformity, but I'm happy with these babies, cause they's my babies. I'm at peace with my choice.

Have fun. Be patient. And make the best of what you decide. And by the way... another good thing about my size Sisterlocks is that it gives people like yourself options, and I am glad you found this page to consider just that, another option! Thank you for the question.

Here are two pics of my two-strand twist locks (circa 2002)... I use to do amature stand-up (hence the make-up), and the other pic is from a trip to Amsterdam, Holland. I know the hats don't provide a great view of my locks, but this is about 3 and 1/2 years to 4 years of growth. I am at 3 years now and will probably have about the same length of growth in about the same amount of time.

God's grace and mercy abound and blessings to you this holiday season.

I hope this helps.

peace,

jenaevans~

On the Sparrow

2006-12-10T15:04:00.000-08:00


Open Mic Jamz at Beatnix Coffeehouse 11-11-06.

It's Beginning to Look A lot Like Christmas

2006-12-10T14:53:00.000-08:00

Hello out there in the blog-o-sphere. I have enjoyed reading everyone's blogs when I get the chance. Lots of different topics going around. Congrats on jobs, weddings, family history(s), parties, sl gatherings all over the country, the lockblog exchange is growing like something else, and cruises are being offered, boy... hair is a growing, converts are being brought in... whew...... Travel, travel, law, and locks... Long time away from blogging updates, whatever happened to Jazzilocks??? and folk still pressing through trials and tribulations. I am praying for those in the midst of storms, and celebrating with those in their season of peace.

Here is a quick update on the length and progress of "me" locs. I am certain Maryee will be taking lots of pics here soon... seeing that her loc birthdate has come and gone and mine is approaching, so we will have to post our three year progress here in a minute.

Be blessed indeed this holiday season!

Jay Turser On the Way JT55C

2006-12-04T09:18:00.000-08:00

Praise God.

I was able to purchase my new level of electric guitar. I decided to upgrade from my Silvertone to a Fender Stratocaster. After being out bidded on a few strats, I began to think about the JT.

While working at Richard Thomas' Band Instrument Repair Shop in Waco, I had the pleasure of playing his JT55C. Well, I loved playing it, and as it turns out, e-bay had two that were available. I stopped bidding on Strats and turned to Jay Turser's. One JT55C was up for auction the other was at a fixed price of 280.00 (free shipping). I went for the JT on auction which was listed as new and never played. I won it in the last second for 202.25 (plus 20.00 shipping).

I look forward to this new instrument, and I am adding the drums to the family very very soon. Those will be the entry level Pearl Forum Series. I played these at Carver Academy and just thought they would be perfectly ideal for me to begin my drumming training.

Be blessed, Ya'll!

jena~

Two new Songs have come about

2006-11-25T16:07:00.000-08:00

I have been in a "swing" music mood lately. Two new songs/lyrics have been penned, and I look forward to the full composition and arrangments to come together. I am very close to purchasing the drum set I have been longing for. I have close to a grand saved, and I am still able to pay my bills. God Bless!

Blessings~

Open Mic at The JAVA HUT in Hewitt, TX

2006-11-03T21:44:00.000-08:00

Every Friday night is open mic at the JAVA HUT in Hewitt, Tx. (Just head toward the Richland Mall on Hwy 84/Waco Drive and keep going until you hit Hewitt Drive... Take a left onto Hewitt Drive and go about a mile and 1/2... The Java Hut is in a shopping center on the right hand side.)

The owners, Karen and Rich are awesome. They are a husband and wife team full of hope and fun and good news. The Java Hut is open seven days a week and offers a great menu of coffees, smoothies, and munchies. I enjoy my stay there when I am able to make the hike... They even have a knitting group and featured live music night.

Well, tonight I played for about an hour. The crowd thinned out as the time wore on, but I did get a two dollar tip and it wasn't even feature artist night. The man said he liked my music and left the tip on a chair my jacket was hanging on. Too, cool... and How cool is that???.....

I am finding that I have a soothing style of selections and that I need to stick with that style. It is unique and relaxing. God knows we need more relaxation music.

I am growing more and more in the music and the music is growing more and more in me. I thank God and praise Him for the grace to grow through this wonderful and most time lonely experience. To the faithful who hung in there with me tonight by choice, force or accident, thank you for your company, and I enjoyed yours, too.

Blessings~

god bless the child

2006-10-30T23:21:00.000-08:00


jena evans at beatnix coffeehouse, waco, tx. Trying to get comfortable playing and singing at the same time... Pressing my way... thank you Lord God. blessings~

Times Like These

2006-10-29T12:32:00.000-08:00

It has been known to be times like these
that leave
man
perplex as to the nature of who and
what he is and what is required
of him
if nothing at all
Amazing that the nothing at all
resounds loudly
eat, drink, merriment abound
but I say remember the Lord
Remember the Lord
in times
like
these

Another Start

2006-10-25T12:31:00.000-07:00

So Deep
So Deep
Splintered shards
She screamed in silence
She carried on
She had a hope
but let it go
blames hope for letting go, you know
has no gauge for valuing
family what's that to her
So deep
So deep
Splintered shards
he screamed in dreams
tried awfully hard
Twisted emotion flat and bent
died with the hope of average men
blames her for letting go, you know
has no power anymore
does to others what was done to him

Have to Say... THINGS ARE MOVING ALONG

2006-10-22T21:51:00.000-07:00

KWBU Kids Stage at the Waco Cultural Arts Festival 2006
Julie and me atop the Empire State Building September 2006

blessings~

October 2006 Gathering

2006-10-22T07:23:00.000-07:00

Here are a few shots from the gathering. We had a wonderful time. I was happy to see old sisterlock girlfriends, new sisterlock girlfriends, and blogger sisterlock girlfriends from California to Arlington... Texas that is...

Be blessed~

New York Was Excellent

2006-09-11T09:02:00.000-07:00

Had a swell birthday and a very pleasant trip to the City... Praise God. He is worthy!

Name:	Jena Evans


Current Location:	Waco
Eye Color:	Brown
Hair Color:	Dark Brown
Height:	5'7
Weight:	145
Piercings:	ears
Tatoos:	butterfly
Boyfriend/Girlfriend:	God
Overused Phraze:	Bless your pea picking heart
*FAVORITES*
Food:	Ice Cream.. does that count? Oh... Chicken
Candy:	Sweet

Color:	Hunter Green

*This or That*
Pepsi or Coke:	Coke... it can dissolve teeth & clean car batteries

Strawberry or Watermelon:	both
Hot tea or Ice tea:	both
Chocolate or Vanilla	both
Hot Chocolate or Coffee:	both
Kiss or Hug:	both

*YOUR...*


Best phyiscal feature:	eyes
First Thought Waking Up:	praise God

Best Friends:	maryee

Longest relationship:	4 debilitating years
*HAVE YOU...*
Ever Drank:	yep
Ever Smoked:	yep... delivered in 2004
Pot:	yep... delivered in 2002
Ever been Drunk:	yep
Ever been beaten up:	yep
Ever beaten someone up:	I just hit him/her once or twice... not a beatdown

*RANDOMS*

What country do you want to Visit:	The Ivory Coast


Do you like Thunderstorms:	pretty... pretty scary
Get along with your Parents:	yep

Do you think your Attractive:	yep
Believe in Yourself:	yep... but can always do better
Want to go to College:	did
Do you Smoke:	no
Do you Drink:	beer snob here
Shower Daily:	yep
Been in Love:	yep Jerry Arthur Miller, Ph.D.
Do you Sing:	yep
Want to get Married:	yep
Do you want Children:	yep

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

blessings~

It Was A Labor Day

2006-09-01T08:52:00.000-07:00

Have a great Friday...

Be very blessed in the Spirit!

Still Pressing But Discouraged

2006-08-29T08:41:00.000-07:00

Boy I am in a mood that is not great these days. I was supposed to be cruising along by now, but though I don't feel mucky mirey, I do feel sluggish and misdirected, stifled and unmotivated. This is not good, huh?

Lift a sister up in prayer. Pray for clarity, for contact, for harmony.

Blessings~

Stuck in Translation

2006-08-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

I prayed for musicians and instruments back in December 2005. Well, I'm still somewhat waiting for it all to come together. There are new instruments, but they do not belong to me; though, I have access to play them. There are musicians, but they only play on Saturdays, and never seem to be able to get with me other than 15 minutes while on stage supposedly performing. Alas, things are a bit off, so I must pray the SERENITY PRAYER.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

********************************

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6

*********************************

Funds have been light for Maryee and me, but we are making wise choices to do the right thing. We will treat ourselves to loving "treats" so as not to be so completely overwhelmed by our circumstances, nonetheless.

WISD began classes and we should hit a stablizing point by November. I am working at a band instrument repair shop in Waco. There is a lot to learn and I have benefited both educationally, occupationally, and financially from the experience, not to mention, I have made new friends. I am blessed and have peace about where I am and where the music is. It's all HIS and it's all Good.

Be blessed and leave stress behind... Set boundaries and let no man dump his garbage, baggage, or insecurities on you...

In Christ-

jena~

Almost 3 years

2006-08-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

Here are some updated pics... And a poem...

Rebirth God's Will

We have all fallen short of the mark
yet we strive to be the best
though every test the bar is set
yet we stumble or we fret

To believe we can achieve to attain
the goals we've chose
At every starting line we rise
to sometimes slowly fall

But our chins they may be scarred
and our heels they may be bruised
and our hearts they may be torn
and our hands they may be worn

We are revived with renewed life
every time we regain sight
and we live although we're maimed
with yet another goal to claim

Be the best at what you do
even if it's only you
trying to do what is right
though the world know not your plight

It's the struggle of all men
to press on until the end
when all the questions of this earth
will be answered in rebirth

So be at peace with this world
it's not our home it's not our pearl
keep your heart securely fastened
to a love that's everlasting

Take in hand wisdom's light
she will carry you in flight
she will tarry with you still
as the lover of God's will

She will tarry with you still
As the lover of God's will

Blessings~

Maryee and Jena

2006-07-30T07:21:00.000-07:00

Creative photography with Picasa and Maryee's camera.

Jen wants to share this video with you!

2006-07-24T09:10:00.000-07:00

Jena Evans playing Little Girl, with Jason Millerd on drums

and Miles Morgan on the bass. 7-22-06 at Beatnix Coffeehouse

Waco, Tx

Share your images and videos at Photobucket.com

Pics of Jenaevans

2006-07-21T09:25:00.000-07:00

My sister Maryee hooked this up for me on her photobucket account. Thanks Maryee!!

Jena and Jason debut with one rehersal on kit

2006-07-12T18:00:00.001-07:00

Waco My Hometown
Jason Millerd(drums)
Jenaevans (Acoustic Guitar)

STAND with Jason Millerd and Jenaevans
Nick Stewart on Bongos

This is getting fun...

Peace and blessings~

One Two at Open Mic Poetry, Beatnix Coffeehouse

2006-07-03T10:05:00.000-07:00

Original piece by Jena Evans
http://www.beatnixcoffee.com

Maryee recorded this and uploaded it to google video... Thanks sister!

Be blessed~

Jena Evans blues run at Beatnix Coffeehouse

2006-06-24T23:34:00.000-07:00

Your comments are welcomed

2 and one half plus loc'd

2006-06-21T07:20:00.000-07:00

Welcome back all the GRITS and SisterLock'ers from a wonderful trip to NYC. Looking at all the photos delivered my heart the envy it so unexpectedly handled (hehehe). Everyone looked fantastic and Prince looked great, too. Glad you all had a great time... Praise God!

Happy to hear all the glowing reports from New York... from Harlem, to GMA, Leighann's Improv Show, the Artist and The Color Purple. Whewwww... Lovely lovely lovely!!!

Thank you to every one who posted pictures and commentary. Just enjoyed living vicariously.

Be blessed... And next time please try to have an on going scholarship fund : ).

Peace and Joy-

Jennifer back in Waco with Music

2006-06-17T15:09:00.000-07:00

But today I wanted to share these pictures of me that Maryee took.

We have been back home in Waco for a little over a year now. It has been a blessing to have this time to grow and explore, rest and relax, discover our roots, and learn to let our "yes" be yes and our "no" be no. Open mic jams tonight at Beatnix. Come on out people and hear a variety of musicians.

Blessings...

Ultimate Freedom Under Proper Authority

2006-06-16T08:57:00.000-07:00

Last night a young woman asked me for a way that she could get another chance to engage with this poem. She asked if it were online somewhere. As a result, I decided to post it and share it freely.

Be Blessed!

ULTIMATE FREEDOM UNDER PROPER AUTHORITY
jenaevans 6/1/2006

Can I paint you a picture
Can I share a dream
As vivid as a grove of daisies blowing near
A tiny stream… A pillar of rocks, sandstone or lime
Hanging high above head fixed in time
over the foot-beaten path
Under a Sycamore Tree
Down in the porous valley
Neath the stellar Autumn breeze
Where I take responsibility never given me
Mistaking it for authority
Which I truly, truly need

I dare not under any circumstance reflect
On any aftermath and take into consideration
The other side this chance, this opportunity,
This “do it” yes contentedly
Cause we are both adults and pleased to
Do as we do please of course…

Does responsibility mean I’m responsible?
Does it carry with it consequence beyond this throw
Beyond this trigger, beyond this erection,
Beyond my steely thighs spread wide,
Beyond my inner voices objectionable cry…

I am not red-faced, pinned up, emotional rage
Brimming over onto every page… There are buttons they have pushed inside
I am not at liberty, no not me, to describe
I seek to find relief, sweet relief, to blame, to shame what an unmitigated shame
I am looking and searching every toss of the sea
Every swell of the breeze, every lower level ticker
Running cross the TV to find and know who the villain might be

I am reaction, the truth be known. I am educated and grown. I have stood
The test of time. I have made it through just fine. So far I’ve come
And yet I’m still as angry as I was that day back then and I can’t quite
Remember when it first took me captive, entangled me, wedded me to misery.

I am coming to freely realize the truth… I am angry at me…
I am the Bladerunner… the defective replicant… I am angry at me-
I am angry at me… I am angry at you
You have become everyman to me, and I have become more of my choice to react in anger
Than I ever imagined I could be…
I have become more of my choice to react in disdain, in disgust
Than to act as the agent of full blown self sacrificing love, help me Jesus

I can, I CAN do the work but I am walking perpetually wounded
I am mad and enraged at the universe, at betrayal, at those who lashed out
At you opening your mouth…
At you opening your mouth and telling me you loved me and showing
That love in so many, many amazingly disappointing, dis-satisfying ways…
The truth is I am gaining momentum
And I am coming for you Father Time, Mother Nature, you too Gravity,
And ohh you… I can’t see you… I can’t see you either… But I know you are at work, dude

The truth is I don’t even know you… I can’t even fathom who created you
And that is what ticks me off the most… It’s either you or me, now…
One of us has got to die… the truth or the lie
I stand gunning, opposing, resisting authority… Freeeeeeee Dumbbbbbb…..

Can I paint you a picture
Can I share a dream

Poems and Music

2006-06-07T14:37:00.000-07:00

My sister Maryee and I are having a good time with poetry nights at Beatnix. Yes, nights... Tuesday nights this Summer are set aside for the teens of Waco and the greater Waco area. From 7:00-9:00 pm teens can come and read poetry. It will run until August 8th.

I am getting more and more comfortable singing and playing on Saturdays. Praises go to God because every time I have to swallow hard and get my self up on that tiny stage.

I have written two new songs and seven new poems since the middle of May. Just this week I have knocked out four poems... two from an exercise Maryee distributed during teen night this Tuesday. What a blessings it has been to be able to express in written words again. It had been a long time coming let me tell you. 36 ain't been a bad year at'tall.

Be blessed to be a blessings to someone else...

Tanisha Sings Billie

2006-05-28T16:05:00.000-07:00

My niece sang God Bless The Child this Saturday at Beatnix. I played the guitar to accompany her and Jason is on the Congas. I used an arrangement I had suited for her to sing this classic. We had a great time. She very much loves to sing.

God bless!

The Soul I Am

2006-05-20T16:22:00.000-07:00

I like these blog things... here's one on Soul.

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone.
Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people.
Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run.
No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way.

You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle.
Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings.
A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.
You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

I didn't say I was a prophet... Believe me!

Be Blessed, Ya'll-

Under A Bridge

2006-05-11T07:19:00.000-07:00

This is a digital photo taken by Maryee. We were hanging out snapping pics under this bridge that extends over a half mile I suspect. My locs are 29 months young come Saturday. My hair and I look like we have been through some storms...

Breathe - Turn - Walk into the Light. Sweet redemption songs...

ILMS...

Be Blessed!

My Blogging Personality Type & 5 Factor

2006-05-06T16:41:00.000-07:00

Your Blogging Type Is the Private Performer

Your blog is your stage - with your visitors your adoring fans.
At least, that's how you write with your witty one liners.
And while you like attention, you value your privacy.
You're likely to have an anonymous blog - or turn off comments.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Your Values Profile

Loyalty:

You don't really value loyalty.
In your opinion, friendship should be earned.
If you don't agree with someone, it doesn't matter how close you are.
You'll let them (and everyone else know) exactly what you think.

Honesty:

You value honesty a fair amount.
You're honest when you can be, but you aren't a stickler for it.
If a little white lie will make a situation more comfortable, you'll go for it.
In the end, you mostly care about "situational integrity."

Generosity:

You value generosity a fair amount.
You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take.
Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need.
But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"!

Humility:

You value humility a fair amount.
You tend to be an easy going, humble person.
But occasionally your ego takes over.
You have a slight competitive streak - and the need to be the best.

Tolerance:

You value tolerance a fair amount.
You are open to new cultures, beliefs, and ideas.
You have very few prejudices that you're aware of.
And while you are tolerant, you do stand true to what you believe.

The Five Factor Values Test

Recording Live at Beatnix

2006-05-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

Last week Alpha Balance played at Beatnix coffee house.Photos of Nick Stewart, Daniel (Congas) and Kessler (Bass).

I recorded them with my laptop. Me recording... (mac computer). I burned Nick twenty-two songs ( a couple of repeats). I got to sing Yesterday with Nick that night. Checkout the soundclick if you get a chance.

For Chass- Fasting means "to go without"... (often associated with food). An internet fast is basically staying off the internet highway/e-mail for a lot of days consecutively. Access Denied! Luv ya!

All ya'll be blessed... Walk in the light... Accept the fact that you "made that choice" how ever short-sighted... and know that on occasion, it may not be your fault, but if you won't or don't get passed it, that is your fault. Choice.

God's grace abound!!!

Locs Hike

2006-04-19T07:19:00.000-07:00

Recently a shift to exercise has come about. My friend Felicia (soon to be sisterlocked May 1), Mary and I have been hiking a river trail off the Brazos every Sunday evening. Mary took this picture of us. My locs are growing nicely even though you can't see them that well in this picture.

We are all benefiting from the exercise. We three also attended the sisterlock gathering III host by the awesome Sister-in-Locks, Karen... Yea!!! What a blessings to see the ladies new and remembered!

Peace and Love, Joy and Hopefulness overflow all throughout your day!

Blessings-

46 Day Fast: E-mail/Internet

2006-04-18T12:31:00.000-07:00

Whoa! I just completed a fast from the internet. I am well pleased. I feel healthy and refreshed. For a moment there I was getting swept away surfing and blogging, but today the dog again wags the tail.

Lots have been going on since March 1st when I went off the board. Beatnix has an open mic jam that I have been courageously performing at every Saturday night. My fifteen minutes are mostly spent strumming out my own ditties and half-hearted attempts at singing... I must work to overcome this fear of singing. Nick lets me sing with him sometimes. YESTERDAY is the song (Paul McCartney) is the lyricist. I love when he lets me join in.

Here's is a picture of me and Jason rocking on STAND. He tore it up on the bongo's. We got a great big applause on his break beats. That was too cool. Thanks, Jason. Yeah!!! STAND can be heard on my soundclick but without Jason ):

Well... I'll write more later. Gotta get my sea legs back under me!

Be extremely blessed with the measure of faith God has given each man!!!

Beatnix's Open Mic Jams

2006-02-19T07:34:00.000-08:00

Last night I attended the open mic jams at Beatnix. It was cool. About 8 singer/songwriters came out in freezing temps including Wayne from the open mic poetry night. I played "Little Girl" and was blessed by the experience. Nick hosted and played. Ashley and Jason were on staff behind the bar, but Jason made his way to perform before the night was done. Ashley's boyfriend and his band partner played as well as Dan and Joanne. It was great, encouraging, and a delight to have this outlet and be in that mix growing and learning and playing.

Blessings!

Poetry and Music

2006-02-19T07:18:00.000-08:00

Maryee and I have been reading again. We finally found a spot to do poetry and music... Here's a profile shot I think Richard took. He is our twelve year old poet friend and peer. I like the progress my locks are making.

Since the SL DFW friends this weekend gathering is postponed, I post this update and send greetings through the blog world!

God's best blessings!

Music Refresher

2006-02-05T15:17:00.000-08:00

From January 11th until now I have been substitute teaching at G.W. Carver Middle School. The subject: Choir! I will be subbing through February 10th. It has been a blessing for me to have this opportunity because it has allowed me to be steeped in music theory to a degree, lyrical arrangement, and sight reading notes and chords. I have not had to do this type of work since High School band, and back then I played trumpet and only had to keep up with one row of notes at a time and only three valves.

I have breaks throughout the day because this class is an elective. Often during these breaks the band director allows me to practice the drum kits. This thrills me to no end, and I can say I am getting better with practice. Next week is my last week in Choir. It will be missed, the drum breaks will be missed, the children will be missed and the elective teachers will be missed. Thanks so very much Mr. Swann.

Be blessed!

Tonic Results

2006-01-28T07:17:00.000-08:00

Didn't control my dry scalp... This tonic might work for some, but not me. I got use to the vinegar smell and kinda liked it a bit. I think the combination of Witch Hazel and Vinegar are meant to dry, clean and clear, but I do not think my dry scalp wants anything but moisture. My scalp sucks up oils like a thirst crazed beast. I guess I need to find an alternative light oil based product that will not damage my locks.

Blessings!

God Bless The Child

2006-01-28T06:36:00.000-08:00

Beatnix, January 26th. I read Lord Byron, Kipling, and Holiday. Well, I actually sang, read, recited all at once God Bless The Child. I had a lot of fun doing that one, boy let me tell you. I love the blues and Billie's work has always touched me ever since I first heard her music. At one time in my life "the more depressing the better" was my motto. Strange Fruit, My Man, and Ain't Nobody's Business were big for me.

No new material to report, but maybe I'll try to cover GBTC. Pray for me as I for you.

Blessings!

Open Mic Poetry

2006-01-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

Photo- Tim W. And Jenaevans Thanksgiving Jam
Beatnix, a coffee house in Waco off 19th and Lakeshore Drive hosts a poetry reading open mic every Thursday at 7pm. I read this past Thursday along with Maryee, Charlie out of NYC, Jason a Ph.D. in Theology candidate, Richard a 12 year old, and Charlie's nephew named Dillon I think read. Felicia and Linda came out. I also brought my electric guitar out. I played to warm up and close out the poetry reading. It was cool to get up there, but it revealed I needed to practice more with purpose and intent to play live.

Penney's son (Penney is one of the owners) plays drums. We met Thursday, too. We are going to begin getting together so he can learn guitar and help me out with some drumming. We shall see. He is a high school senior. God is so good. I also have promised to get some lead sheets to Richard the twelve year old who also plays piano and who also is Penney's other son.

Beatnix has an open jam night, too. I plan on bringing out the guitar and vocals to sing at least two songs one night in the very near future.

Be Blessed!

One Free Download

2006-01-12T15:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I posted, "That's Good News" to my Soundclick as a free mp3 download. I checked today and someone has already downloaded it once. That was encouraging. I chose this song because it is straight gospel and spirit lead. People need to be fed and some people come to dine not to love ya, so there it be...

As well, here are the lyrics to my latest song...

Enjoy and be blessed!

So Nice

It's So Nice, so nice, so nice
It's so nice, It's so nice, It's so nice
It's as natural as poppy seeds
beautiful as the colors of the rainbow

It's wake up sleepy head
It's ten more minutes in your bed, in your bed
It's like dew on blades of grass
snow on mountain peaks
A baby's silent cry
A new formed tear in your eye

As mystic as the pyramids
As Dark as midnight skies
A stream in Colorado
the distant smell of apple pie

so nice, so nice, so nice
It's so nice, it's so nice, it's so nice

It's the instinct to survive
the old man who's so wise
an unexpected "hi"
a good time to say good-bye

a child in godly fashion
your first real kiss of passion
the leaf brought by the dove
your unconditional love

The pride found in a hug
upon a tree like a bug
upon a tree like a bug

So nice, so nice, so nice
so nice, so nice, so nice

the lapping ways of wind
when rain does come again
A reassuring smile
and dancing all the while

an uncaged animal roars
sleeping when rain pours
this time you didn't lie
a child who didn't cry

The constant strength of earth
a mother giving birth
We all know what it is
no answer shall I give

We all know what it is
no answer shall I give
no answer shall I give

So nice, so nice, so nice
so nice, so nice, so nice

Praise HIM! In Him there is no darkness...

Soundclick: Two New Songs

2006-01-10T05:56:00.000-08:00

I uploaded Nothing Wasted and So Nice to mySoundclick page. That's near bout nine minutes of music. Take a listen to them when you get a moment.

So Nice backstory: 1994 meets 2006

Nothing Wasted backstory: God wasted nothing in December 2005

Blessings!

The New Year and 12th Night

2006-01-08T17:13:00.000-08:00

My first new year spent in Waco, Texas in at least fifteen years. Even fifteen years ago, I would have been back in the city in which I escaped Waco for by the 2nd of January... Austin, Iowa City, Atlanta, Denton, New York City, etc...

Maryee and I went to a 12th night celebration this weekend. There were well over 150 people in and out. The 12th night celebration is a celebration of Christ's epiphany 12 days after Christmas. It was held at Kim's home where several college women aid in the support of this old Waco residence's existence (i.e. pay rent). It is a beautiful home. Kim is a wonderful host and a member of Antioch Community Church's evangelical leadership team.

The food and the company were wonderful. The evening was everything I remembered about being around good food, good folk, and good conversation. It was the better parts of Iowa City living and the wonderlust of what I desired from either East or West coast living. It was deliciously delightful. I felt adequate, at home, very much at peace. Thank you Kim and all who came together to make that event happen. Praise God for your ministry of hospitality.

NOT AFRAID

Let's gone grow up together
I'd love to stay a while

I'm not afraid I'm not afraid
I know I'm a fool shining in your mind
centered in your love
I am who I am and know exactly who I'm not
Safe from all the harm true love in a lover found

I'm not afraid I'm not afraid

But I wish you were my keeper
like a mother like a bird

like a mama to a daughter a father to a son
Wings to cover arms to warm

I'm not afraid I'm not afraid

Let's gone grow up together
I'd love to stay a while
Safe from all the harm true love in a lover found

And if it's all right with you
can we love and I not touch you
keep your heart and I'll keep mine too
cause foolish fools we knew growing up we two
all the madness too

let's gone grow up together
no longer children all right
I'd love to stay a while
enter into light

jae 06/20/05 8:35pm

Songs Writing Poem Writing

2006-01-07T12:14:00.000-08:00

A few days back, I was looking into my old poems for a poetry reading that is coming up at Beatnix Thursday the 12th. I found a piece I wrote in 1994 entitled, "There Are No Butterflies Here." This melody then popped into my head for a song to this poem. I was pleased, but the poem is very long, three stanzas but lengthy. I plan on recording the music as soon as it is solidified. Then, the hard part... it will take some work to chip away at this poem to uncover the song's lyrics, but I realize it wants birth and life, so the effort I will give to her.

My songs are poems and my poems are songs. They long to find their lifelong mates to join them in eternity. They are content to stay the course until the end draw nigh.

Blessings!

Itchy

2006-01-05T07:17:00.000-08:00

Since I'm under-employed and consultant starved due to distance, I am having to battle the frustration of hair care on my own until "things" change. I found this treatment concoction for dandruff on the Lockit Up yahoo group site.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tonic for Dandruff

Essential oils can be used in a base of distilled water to
provide a hair tonic for various uses. Here is a tonic that
will help control dandruff if used several times a week.
You will need:

1 1/2 cups distilled water (or rosewater)
Witch hazel (available at most drugstores)
3 teaspoons of cider vinegar
Oil of Lavender
Oil of Rosemary
Oil of Tea Tree

Mix the water, 1/4 cup of the witch hazel, the cider
vinegar, six drops each of the lavender and rosemary oils,
and three drops of the tea tree oil in a glass bottle.
Shake this well and apply it to your wet or dry hair
several times a week. Massage the tonic into your scalp.
You do not have to rinse your hair afterward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have mixed it and will see how well it controls my dry, itchy scalp. I also purchased Rainwater Tea Tree Oil Shampoo this weekend from a Clear Lake based Health Food outlet. We shall see. I would love to have a re-tightening done and feel the competence of professional hands in my head. Pray for me as I shall you!

Be Blessed!

My Babies

2006-01-01T17:18:00.000-08:00

These are the tools of my trade, my little ones. I love them. I have the bass, the electric guitar, the amps for each, and my G4 Apple equipped with GarageBand "the early edition." I am seeking a drum set since Santa didn't deliver my 33 year old husband drummer. I have a little money I am saving, and I am looking around. It was recommended that I look into pawn shops (for drums... not a husband "yuck!") and not purchase a $300.00 starter set from Sam's or Walmart. Well,... Pray for me, pray for others, and be fantastically blessed in 2006! I am praying for you, too!

jena-

My Temperment is really Mel/Chlor but FYI

2005-12-31T07:29:00.000-08:00

Most of my songs are rather deep and reflective. Some may even suggest down right moody and depressing. I like to think that the songs are thought provoking and spiritually challenging. If you can not relate to my work, then here's some information that may help you to connect to the music. Below is a blogthang survey I took regarding my temperment. You may want to take it yourself for your own edification. This information about my temperment may open avenues of understanding when it comes to listening to the words and music I have produced. For more information on temperments, see Tim LaHaye's book entitled, "Why You Act The Way You Do." Enjoy!

You Have a Melancholic Temperment

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.
You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.
You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.

Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.
You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.
Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times.

At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.
You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.
You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?

Have a Very Happy New Year full of song, laughter, peace, love and joy!!!

Blessings!

SisterLoc'd & Written Down

7 Years and Still No Itch

Where Has The Time Gone

Photo Update month 67

Great Grandma, Mamol, and Mama Wore Wigs

63 Months

Let It Ring

Five Year Update or 60 months

Endorsements Election USA 08

Portland Has Water Pressure

Vancouver beautiful and growing

So Far So Good

Heading West

Historic Colors to Think About for 2008

Red, Brown, and Gray all over

It Gets Better and Better

The Anatomy of "The Speckle"

Great PSA's (added post 8/19/08)

Tagged 2008

Paint My World Discovered poem

Bantu Knots Experiment

48 months Later 4 Year Anniversary

Fisherman Lyrics

Rare Short Poem

So Many New Loc'd People

Bit of Loc Chat

Coming Up On Forty-Eight Months

Reconcile Poem of Sorts

A Few Pics from the Ft. Worth DFW Gathering

Hair in my Food

Nina Simone

Music Front Update

Loc Tag

Day One Collage

I Am The Poet and the Poem

Music Update Thank You Jason and TJ

Finally Took The Retightening Class

Strengthening The Roots

39 Month Sisterlock Update

To the Grand Hand

10 Things I will Share

DFW Special Gathering March 24th

Working as Receptionist Today... Lyrics Present Themselves

Compared to June 2006

A Waco Thanks to DFW ladies

What I Am Learning... or what's soaking in

Grateful

Bring Me Your Sunshine

They Say

Don't Know

Fruit Be Manifest

Looking toward the future

Testify and Confess Faith

Happy Holidays 2006

Got Drums, Got Ge'tar, Need mics and recording stuff

Deja Vu asked... plus 3 year update

On the Sparrow

It's Beginning to Look A lot Like Christmas

Jay Turser On the Way JT55C

Two new Songs have come about

Open Mic at The JAVA HUT in Hewitt, TX

god bless the child

Times Like These

Another Start

Have to Say... THINGS ARE MOVING ALONG

October 2006 Gathering

New York Was Excellent

It Was A Labor Day

Still Pressing But Discouraged

Stuck in Translation

Almost 3 years

Maryee and Jena

Jen wants to share this video with you!

Photobucket - Shared Video!

Jena Evans playing Little Girl, with Jason Millerd on drums

and Miles Morgan on the bass. 7-22-06 at Beatnix Coffeehouse

Waco, Tx

Share your images and videos at Photobucket.com

Pics of Jenaevans

Jena and Jason debut with one rehersal on kit